Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
