JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
