Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
