Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
