I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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