Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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