No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
