How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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