did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
