In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize