so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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