So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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