Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did you get engaged???
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
