hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
this is an emotional support booty call
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
