you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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