I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
