and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
