It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
