Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
