Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
