Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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