I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have already put on my inside pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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