that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
