bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
