Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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