Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
