Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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