She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think people are normalizing furries
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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