so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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