You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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