But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
