i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
