your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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