We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
