god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
