im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
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