I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
