Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i now understand why vodka
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
