Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
