I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
