i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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