At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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