He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
