I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
