super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
