I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
