Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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