: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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