drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
