Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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