ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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