Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
