Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
