I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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