i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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