I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
