This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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