Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
